Every so often, throughout this marvelously long tale, you lean into the unspoken elements of the scene. They’re like mini-arcs lasting only a page. In this one you’ve taken us all back to those awkward, memorable, angst-filled moments we all had in tender youth. This is difficult to do in a blocky, 10-year old medium.
But confusion in Billy and the coy face of Tirin during this exchange evince whimsical, smile-filled reminiscence in even crusty old bastards like me. We’re not Reading the page — we’re In the page.
Kudos, my friend.
*(Change ‘it’s’ to ‘it’ in the second line, first panel.)
Thank you so much Neil. I am so glad the page conveyed that (this bastard remembers those youthful days too and really wanted the page to convey everything you described). I have corrected the first panel (dang typos!)
14 thoughts on “Chapter 17, page 15 – Billy and Tirin interlude”
ems
Good work! That kiss was long overdue and now, right before the action, is the perfect time. ( Note there is a typo in the first line of Lil Tirin.)
merceneiress
Gaah! Once again the typo demons have struck! Corrected! Thank you!
Neil
Steve,
Every so often, throughout this marvelously long tale, you lean into the unspoken elements of the scene. They’re like mini-arcs lasting only a page. In this one you’ve taken us all back to those awkward, memorable, angst-filled moments we all had in tender youth. This is difficult to do in a blocky, 10-year old medium.
But confusion in Billy and the coy face of Tirin during this exchange evince whimsical, smile-filled reminiscence in even crusty old bastards like me. We’re not Reading the page — we’re In the page.
Kudos, my friend.
*(Change ‘it’s’ to ‘it’ in the second line, first panel.)
Neil
merceneiress
Thank you so much Neil. I am so glad the page conveyed that (this bastard remembers those youthful days too and really wanted the page to convey everything you described). I have corrected the first panel (dang typos!)
Guesticus
So, when are they going to introduce each other to their head-guest? 😀
Or is that a ‘third date’ thing?
merceneiress
Haha, yes, only on the third date…
Lloyd
I cannot think of enough superlatives for this page! Thank you!
merceneiress
Thank you! 🙂
StarSword
D’AAAAAAAWWWWWWW…
merceneiress
😂
Jennifer
SQUEEEE <3
merceneiress
🙂
T.J.
oh, to be young again…
you really conveyed the awkwardness well, and the facial expressions were charming.
merceneiress
Thank you so much! 🙏